What is a cult? Most people use this word to mean “a group of people who erase their individuality in a creepy way.” I use a rather broad but more precise definition:

A cult is a social hierarchy made of traumatized people where the more powerful people use the less powerful people in repeated attempts to satisfy their unmet childhood needs, and where those who are lower in the hierarchy look to the people above them as the only ones who can meet their needs. Everyone involved clings desperately to the system. Every cult is a replication of an abusive family dynamic. Emotional honesty is restricted or outright forbidden, and members are trapped with tactics that can range from the overt to the very subtle.

What is trauma? For this word I also use a specific definition that extends the concept beyond its conventional use:

Trauma occurs whenever an emotional event (which can be instantaneous or take place in many small episodes over a long period of time), especially one caused by someone with total power over the victim, is too overwhelmingly painful to be processed, forcing the victim to split off from the parts of themselves that experienced distress in order to survive psychologically. The victim then develops various psychological defenses for keeping the pain buried, further warping their personality and stunting their growth. Although many people are (re)traumatized as adults, most people are traumatized as children by their family systems, especially by their parents who are the leaders of the family system.

Several years ago I began my process of leaving the sick, emotionally deadening family I grew up in. One of the most unsettling and important realizations I’ve had since then is that ordinary, apparently “happy” families are profoundly similar to the one I came from. There are many subtle ways in which children are abused and neglected that still go unrecognized, with far-reaching consequences for the entire world. One of the themes I explore in this blog is how societies and their political power structures are shaped by emotionally abandoning, dysfunctional and exploitative family systems.

I also believe there is nothing fundamentally wrong with humans. People who are completely free of unresolved traumas would not have any motivation to exploit others, or give themselves up to be exploited, or perpetrate aggressive violence, or hibernate in fear and dread, or destroy forests or poison rivers. The less we are burdened by our traumas the more we are free to grow, to nurture the best in ourselves and to build loving relationships with our human as well as our non-human surroundings.

I see the world poised at the very beginning of a bottom-up social revolution sparked by a small part of the human population forging ahead to heal all of their deepest childhood wounds, in the process inspiring, challenging and supporting the rest to free themselves. We have many insidious lies to untangle. We have many unspeakable experiences to bring into the clear light of day so that they can be held and grieved. We have only a few decades, not centuries, to do this unpleasant and deeply rewarding work.